Saturday, January 22, 2011

What do you tell? And When?

It's pretty clear after 8 years, I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I wonder if I'll ever figure it out....

One of the lessons we're working on at my house is "you don't have to say everything that is in your head" -- and primarily, how this is different than lying.

K2 has a lot of trouble with this issue, and hoenstly, so do most adults. We've gotten the little white lie down. But knowing when to say NOTHING is a whole other matter.

K2 told her friend that she liked her hair better before it was cut. Little friend cries. You don't have to say everything that's in your head...

The Sunday school teacher in me though, feels an obligation to make the very same mistake when it involves the well being of our children.
When do you tell? And What?
If you hear a teenager saying they smoke, do you talk to your friend, their mom? What about cutting class? or vandalism? And when, when do you say something?

Or is this a matter of NOT saying everything that's in your head?

When I was growing up, many a teenage boy called my Dad to be rescued from where they had their car stuck late at night. They didn't want to call their parents. Most of these were "parking" incidents. But what if the teen had been drinking? He would have driven them home, but probably wouldn't have told their parents.

I's pretty sure I lost a friend this week. It makes me sad in ways I can't even tell you. I miss you Dad. Always, but this week in particular.

It's pushed into our mind that as responsible adults we must tell certain things. Gotcha. But what about some of the "fringe" things...?

Mary Kay still hasn't figured out the Mom thing. Hopefully I'll get it before they are gone!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Jammie up

Thursday, January 13, 2011

A Hobo, or at least very poor

My family is very rich in all the ways that count. We have lots of love, laughs, plenty to eat, strong faith... but material things are sometimes a little tight. We don't always have the newest toys, drive the newest cars--

This hasn't really been an issue. Until this week.

Big K came home from school to tell me that a boy (a really cute-y pie boy, of course..) told her he thought she must be a HOBO, or at least very, very poor. (Hobo? Does anyone use this word anymore?)

I'm not sure why this made my blood boil. My daughter is bright, funny and beautiful. She has a heart of gold. (Sure sweetie I get it. He has Bambi eyelashes and a toothpaste ad smile...) She would never think to taunt another child. (Go ahead, darling... I'll look the other way..)
As a mom, we frequently have to watch our "Momma bear claws". The Mom of this child would most likely be horrified he had said such a thing.
For now, I told her maybe he's not the boy for her. (Biting lip...) If he can't see her wonderful qualities, it's time to move on. (Please, please... stop chasing this boy. You are only headed for more heartache. He will continue to make you cry. Now he knows he can...) In my head, I don't worry. She's destined for great things. I explained to her that children are not actually rich or poor. Their parents might own a nice car or a big house, but the child himself OWNS NOTHING. (That's why you are going to school-- to learn things to help you become who you will be. Learn things besides the fact that some boys are jerks...)

Some lessons are harder than others. Sometimes, it would be easier if we could take the bite for them. But we can't. Life's lessons are out there, and we must stand on the sideline --biting our lip.

Mary Kay wasn't born cheap... but she got there pretty quickly.